by Melissa Butkovich-Carraway

If you or someone you know is pregnant and considering options, here’s information on making an adoption plan.

First, reach out to a domestic adoption worker or an adoption agency, such as Forever Families, which services the entire state of Michigan and the northern area of Ohio. Please note that legally, an agency cannot reach out to you first, even if you tell a nurse / friend / family member etc. that you want to make an adoption plan. The other people can reach out to the agency to get information on making an adoption plan, but the agency cannot move forward with meeting the pregnant person until the pregnant person makes contact with the agency (there is an exception for a pregnant minor under age 18 and pregnant adults who have court ordered guardianships over them). At Forever Families, you can inquire through our website, call our office, call one of our domestic adoption workers, email one of our domestic adoption workers, or come to the office during regular business hours to talk to someone about making an adoption plan.

After initial contact occurs, an adoption worker will come meet the expectant parent to do an adoption orientation and learn why they are considering adoption, and get information on their pregnancy, prenatal care, the child’s father, and gather social and medical history. The adoption worker will explain the legal process of a private adoption; a private adoption plan has nothing to do with foster care involvement, your infant will be placed directly with an adoptive family. The worker will also explain open, semi-open, and closed adoption plans and the expectant parent will decide the level of contact they want after placement. A hospital plan will be created expressing the pregnant person’s desires for labor and birth. This can include the expectant parent’s wishes of who you would like to be in your hospital room during labor and delivery, if you plan to breastfeed, or if you want the adoptive parents to help care for the baby. When we are close to the pregnant person’s due date, the adoption worker will send this hospital plan to the hospital where they plan to give birth. This is so that hospital staff/social worker are aware that an adoption plan will be happening at their hospital and to respect the wishes of the pregnant person during labor and delivery.

After this, the pregnant person is presented adoptive family profile books so they can choose the family they want their child placed with. The books include photos and information about home study approved adoptive families. The pregnant person will pick their favorite and inform the worker. The worker will then reach out to the adoptive family that was chosen and arrange a meeting for the birth parents and adoptive parent(s) to meet and to get to know each other. This meeting typically occurs at the agency. The adoption worker will be present to help ease nerves and to facilitate conversation as needed. It’s okay to be anxious; it’s completely normal for both parties to be nervous for this initial meeting! After this meeting, the worker will talk to both parties separately and see if each desires to move forward. If both the pregnant person and the adoptive parent(s) want to move forward, then it considered an official match. If contact information will be exchanged, this is the time that it is typically exchanged. After this, the adoptive family and pregnant person can begin building a relationship which can include the adoptive parents going to prenatal care appointments if the pregnant person desires to have their support at these appointments. The pregnant person and adoptive family can also meet for lunch or dinner and text each other or call one another to build the relationship.

Throughout this time, the agency can assist with applicable living expenses to help keep the mother and the baby safe. These expense coverages can legally continue until 6 weeks after birth. Examples of legally allowed living expenses include groceries, maternity clothes, hygiene items, cellular phone bill, rent, etc. The agency can also provide free therapy services to the pregnant person so they can begin emotionally processing the adoption, feelings of grief associated with it, and any other topic they wish to talk to a skilled and licensed therapist about.

Leading up to labor and birth, your adoption worker will want to be informed if you are experiencing any contractions and when you go to the hospital. The adoption specialist will come to the hospital about 24-36 hours after birth to have the birth parent* sign temporary custody paperwork. The adoptive parents will also sign temporary custody paperwork. This paperwork allows the infant to be discharged from the hospital into the care of the adoptive parents. The birth parent can decide if they want to be discharged at the same time as their child, before their child, or after their child. The adoption worker can be at the hospital at discharge if requested.

The next step is signing an out-of-court consent. This appointment will be scheduled while temporary placement paperwork is signed at the hospital. Out-of-court consent paperwork is the paperwork that the birth mother signs to voluntary release parental rights. This cannot be done until the infant is at least 72 hours old (this is a Michigan law). The birth mother does NOT need to go to court to release her parental rights. Rather, the birth mother would likely come to the agency and sign this with just a lawyer and the adoption worker present (parent or guardian too if parent is a minor or under a court-appointed guardianship).

Signing the out-of-court consent paperwork is the last step of the process for the birth mother unless the birth father is fighting for custody. If the birth father is fighting for custody that is called a Contested Adoption. Please ask your adoption worker how Contested Adoptions change the adoption process if the father of your child does not support your adoption plan. A future blog will be made about birth, putative, and legal father rights, and contested adoptions.

After the birth mother voluntarily releases her rights, the agency and adoptive family file an adoption petition with the court and the adoption is able to move towards finalization.

We understand that this is a lot of information to take in! If you are still reading this, we thank you for your interest in learning more about making an adoption plan. Our adoption specialists are available 24/7 to help guide you through the adoption process and answer any questions you have about placing a child for adoption. Contact information for one of our workers is below. No question is too big or too small! Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you or someone you know is pregnant and wants to learn more about placing a child for adoption.

* Please note that throughout this specific blog post we used the term “birth parent” to describe the adoption process after the child is born. Our agency respects that not every person feels the label “birth parent / mother / father” is appropriate for them. We understand that some feel that “first parent”, “natural parent”, “biological parent”, or something else feels better for them. We also respect that not every pregnant person identifies as female. For this blog purpose, we wrote “birth mother” to help differentiate everyone’s role in the process. At Forever Families, we will respect your wishes and address you how you would prefer to be addressed.

Melissa Butkovich-Carraway
Adoption Specialist at Forever Families
Cell phone, call or text: (248) 914-0749
Email: mbutkovich-carraway@forever-families.org