Consistency is key! A popular phrase to start out the New Year, this could apply to so many goals- living a healthy lifestyle, saving money, learning a new hobby, or being productive at work. He consistently eats a healthy meal and goes for a walk after dinner. She consistently puts a percentage of every pay check into her savings account. They are consistent when it comes to showing up for baseball practice. The employee of the month has demonstrated consistency with their engagement with clients. These positive statements all have a nice ring to them, don’t they?

When I hear the word consistent, it brings the feelings of reassurance, anticipation, and familiarity. Consistency is beneficial for people across the board. It helps to foster a sense of security and trust. It allows you to be able to rely on a person when they dependably show up, or count on something happening when an event regularly occurs.

For foster children, consistency is more than just ideal, it is crucial to their development and ability to form attachments. It helps them to build trust and security, and create a safe environment where they can relax, learn healthy behaviors, and develop social-emotional skills they need to survive and heal from past trauma.

All too often we hear of children “bouncing around” from place to place. When I say “place” I don’t just mean foster home. I mean parental home, foster home, institution, school, therapy office, doctor or dentist office, playgrounds, restaurants, and the list goes on. When placement changes, so does almost every place in their life at that time. Their favorite store where they go grocery shopping with their caregiver changes when they move and the new store doesn’t have the same candy bars or trinkets in the checkout aisle. Their therapist who they have finally started seeing on a weekly basis for the past two months after jumping through hoops to get on their after school schedule, is no longer able to see them as they moved to a new foster home three counties away and it would take over an hour to get to the therapy office. The same situation for changing schools or doctors happens almost every time a foster child moves.

It is widely preached that foster children should remain at their same school and continue to see the same doctor as continuity of care is a priority, but when it comes to logistics and the reality of accommodating the schedules of every person in the household, most of the time it isn’t practical.

There are countless stories, articles, blogs, and published studies confirming and stressing the importance of consistency for children and the effect it has on children’s development. The goal is to make the children feel safe and as they are able to heal in a family, they will feel empowered to make positive life choices.

According to America’s Kids Belong, Consistency is one of the three keys to successful foster parenting with the other two being Compassion and Care.

Caring For Kids at cfkadopt.org goes into further detail about how stability and routine support children in care with a sense of security, improved behavior, emotional regulation, academic social success, and trust building. They further provide caregivers with guidance and coping strategies including establishing a daily routine, communicating changes in advance, being consistent with boundaries and discipline, creating rituals and traditions, keeping promises, prioritizing stability in placements, supporting school stability, and seeking professional help if needed.

When you sign up to be a relative caregiver or a foster parent, you may be considered a temporary placement but you have to be in it for the long haul. Temporary does not mean only when it is convenient. Temporary only means that it may not be a permanent situation, but you are there consistently for your foster child until permanency is able to occur. That may mean that they are returning to the care of their parents, or that may mean that they will need an adoptive placement. It is your job as their caregiver to support their permanency goal however possible. Taking them to visits with birth family or with a potential adoptive family, maintaining placement until permanency can occur, enrolling them in their previous school when possible, and basically consistently showing up for them through the good and the bad.

Parenting With Intent says it well: “These kids need experienced, educated and dedicated providers who can stay with them for as long as they need the support and service.”

I encourage child welfare staff and caregivers to show up for your kiddos every single day, and be there for them consistently, unfailingly until they achieve permanency. Although change is inevitable, consistency is KEY.

Resources

Written By: Amanda Polinski